About Amy
As a child, I dreamed of becoming a mother. Actually, dreamed might not be strong enough of a word. It felt like a passion, or a calling. It was my main goal, other than becoming the first woman president. :o)
At the age of three, my mom noticed my tendency towards care taking and sensitivity and decided it was time for me to have a doll to practice nurturing. She took me to a local Woolworth nickel and dime store to make my selection.
We walked hand in hand into the store and when we arrived at the area where I would pick out my first doll I asked a simple question,”Why is there a brown doll and a white doll?”
My mother answered thoughtfully, “I suppose the doll makers think that little girls with white skin may want a doll who looks like them and the same for little girls with brown skin.”
I replied, “Well, that’s funny,” and chose the brown doll.
That doll was the first of many with varying shades of skin, all of them becoming a special part of my younger years. I would pretend to be their mother and they would accompany me to most of my adventures - school, playing with friends, even family pictures, and certainly in bed at night. When I felt I had pretty much grown out of the “doll stage” I became a certified babysitter and initially helped a neighbor family with premature twins.
The experience I gained through being able to be a part of this adoptive family’s bonding and care for these two little ones opened my heart in a way I would never forget. I was challenged to trust in the fact that the boys would do well, as they had various health issues due to their prematurity, and I was given the opportunity to mature as a young woman allowed responsibility. I watched their mom give her time, energy, and unconditional love as she parented and planned to do the same when I became a mother.
Only 20 years after my first doll, I met the father of my three children and we excitedly planned our family. With a generous age difference and the joy of babies in the horizon we did not waste any time! I prepared for the pregnancy and birth mostly through reading as books are also one of my best friends. Without getting too much into the birth itself because that’s a whole other story, I will say that I was a might unprepared. However, my daughter and I came through alive and I was able to feel the first settling in of the idea that I was completely incompetent.
Now, for a first time mother, the feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing when you have your baby is relatively common. It does not feel good, though. I had the support of my mother, but I felt so protective of my first born that I was only open to certain types of help. Still, we fared pretty well and were able to get breastfeeding off to a good start. I joined La Leche League and found the company of other mothers comforting.
I did find myself wondering from time to time (sometimes more often than others) how I was going to do this - parent my child while keep the house up, run the errands, and do whatever else I felt I needed to do. Looking back, I was doing it all along, but much of the time not in the way I wanted to be, and that is what led me here.
As a mother it has always been my goal to be loving and effective. Yet I experienced myself as different from who I wanted to be as a parent and a person. I found myself angry and frustrated all too often. These negative feelings were often directed at the ones I loved and I knew it was taking its toll on everyone around me. I wanted to enjoy parenting, and my life.
I certainly had moments of joy, even though they were largely intermittent at times. The smiles on the faces of my children were like diamonds to me, and they still are. There came a point where I told myself enough was enough. I decided to make a change in my life and this time it would be a lasting one. I didn’t know exactly how I would do what I wanted to do, but I remained open for the journey of a life time.
During this transformational period, I met Christine Gulrajani and almost instantly formed a deep, lasting friendship through our commitment to parent with love and similar life principles. At first this brought us to create Green Seed Co-op, an organic food buying club offering local and national products at a significant discount to members. Working together, with children in tow, we began discussing our parenting experiences and found many complimentary themes. Our desire to live in harmony with our children prevailed, but it was clear that there was some “business” to address along the way.
The more Christine and I spoke between ourselves and with other parents, the more we realized the trends of overwhelm in parenting that affect families in many ways. Since we are both La Leche League Leaders, trained and accredited to assist mothers with breastfeeding, as well as encourage sensitive parenting and loving guidance, we also noticed that often mothers (and fathers) were unsure of themselves. Yet we fully believe that parents really are the expert of their own experience. This seeming dichotomy sparked within me the desire to find the answers to the many questions I had brewing inside.
Why do so many parents question themselves when it comes to their parenting? What is at the basis of the level of expected struggle in parenting? Why is it so often referred to as a job? What would happen if parents felt completely confident in their ability to parent their children in a harmonious manner that left both parent and child feeling happy, secure, and successful? How would parents, children, families, schools, communities… the whole world be affected if this were to transpire? And is it really about the way we parent, or is there something more to the picture?
To provide some relief in response to the barrage of questions, I initiated a self-led journey through my own feelings of inadequacy. My journey started with an awareness that something was definitely not working, a commitment to make a change, and a bold look at how my thoughts and emotions were playing into my experience.
When I made the commitment to create a harmonious life for myself and my children (even though I didn’t know how it would happen) many helpful people started showing up on my radar. One such person was Scott Noelle, the creator of EnjoyParenting.com. As I enjoyed Scott’s Daily Groove emails, I began to toss around the idea of some individual coaching. Before having kids I experienced group coaching and found it to be very beneficial in my personal life. Scott’s approach to parenting resonated deeply and I wanted to take action steps towards being able to continually give the gift he refers to at his site: “The greatest gift you can give your children is to enjoy parenting them!”
The main benefits of coaching for me were clarifying what I wanted, releasing any resistance I had in creating what I wanted for my parenting, and being accountable for the change I wanted in my life.
While I did my “homework” and applied all that I was learning in and out of coaching, I began to see my family life transform. At first it was in little bits, like I would be able to handle my own frustration more smoothly. Then ideas for preventing and resolving conflict, having fun, and just enjoying my family and my life would magically come while in the moment and I began to easily find peace and joy in the simplest things.
I was led to more and more resources that helped me solidify my own thinking and results I wanted for myself and my family. Through my exploration, discovery, and willingness to do whatever it takes, I found what I had been looking for all along: the answers within myself.
It became clear to me that I wanted to bring this experience to others so parents could experience the parent-child relationship in a new and refreshing way. Another dream began to grow in my heart. A dream to bring relief and life transforming tools to parents who feel anything less than complete love for themselves, and their children.
After I had come to this deep awareness I faced the reality of my own death in a way I never imagined. That evening I was faced with a decision: shrivel in fear of dying or trust that I would be okay no matter what. I chose to surrender to my situation and the Source of Life from a place of complete trust - something I had never done before. The result was a very cleansing experience where my fears were brought to light and a peace within was illuminated. When I woke up the next morning, I knew I was going to create Transformational Parenting to assist parents in accessing their own place of peace and confidence within so that families across the planet could experience complete harmony.
Why? Because parents across the globe struggle in the parent-child relationship and it does not have to be this way. In becoming a coach I have expanded the work I did through La Leche League to all parents - with a specific focus on becoming present with children (and life) to experience harmonious relationships. I do this through combining practical parenting and life coaching skills with energy awareness and healing for a very wholistic experience.
Parents have the ability to transform their parenting so they can make the most of their role and enjoy their children. Harmonious parenting practices and beliefs exist that can be used in any culture, anywhere on the planet. There is a way to parent with peace, love, and joy!
Through all of my learning, experience, and remembrance, I have formed this conclusion:
“The experiences we define as problematic or difficult with children are actually opportunities in disguise. The act of parenting itself is a grand series of these opportunities encompassing one huge possibility: to realize our true nature, which is one of peace, love, and joy.”
What do I mean by true nature? The one you were born with that still exists inside. Whatever your belief system, you have the power within your own mind and being to transform your thoughts and emotions. In Transformational Parenting, we share concrete ways to release thoughts and emotions stored up that are a detriment to your parenting as well as develop thoughts and cultivate emotions that encourage harmonious parenting.
It all boils down to a very simple basis, which may or may not feel possible right now, but it is possible. In a world where so often the focus of life, the role of parenting included, is on doing, the ability to simply be (even and especially while you are doing) greatly enhances the parenting experience. I now live and teach the art of releasing resistance so one can simply be in the context of the parent-child relationship. From the peaceful place of being, I support parents in achieving the desired parental transformations created through clear intentions and confidence.
My formal studies include an educational focus on Child Development, Social Work, Human Sexuality, Sexual Assault Awareness & Avoidance, Philosophy, Communications, and Humanities. Independently, I studied and continue to study Anthropology, Spirituality, Personal and Relationship Development, Natural and Joyful Childbirth, Parenting, Relaxation and Meditation, Nutrition, Quantum Physics, Women’s Issues, and various other topics.
As a person who believes in the value of service I spent many years in volunteer work with Big Brothers Big Sisters, Hospice, Green Seed Co-op, and La Leche League. Through my work as a volunteer I have enjoyed being…
- a Big Sister through providing friendship and mentoring for children
- a personal care and respite provider for individuals and families experiencing the process of death
- a Coop Coordinator co-creating and growing a seven family, three distributor organic food buying club to include over fifty families in three counties, ordering with twelve distributors
- a Leader supporting mothers with breastfeeding and parenting
With various life experiences and my passion to read, research, write, and seek answers to life’s questions, I carry to Transformational Parenting a treasure of wisdom allowing those who work with me to benefit immediately. I like to consider myself a Parenting Confidence Facilitator as I calmly meet each person where he or she is in life. I believe each person is the expert in his or her own experience and the answers reside within, they may just need uncovering. Through my clarity, I am able to point out any beliefs standing in the way and share tools to transform them.
As a Life Coach specializing in Transformational Parenting, I provide assistance to parents who wish to transform their parenting experience into one of harmony. Through various methods and ultimately presence, I guide the parent towards his or her own inner guidance, where parenting can be released from the usual overwhelm and literally transformed into an experience of harmony which blends acceptance, appreciation, joy, and enthusiasm.
I continually create my own transformational life with my three children and two cats in the Great Lakes State of Michigan. I enjoy the outdoors, swimming, biking, playing, yoga, meditation, and anything that might equate to adventure. In addition to Transformational Parenting, I coach others who want to make a change in life, allow creativity to flow as a freelance writer, and provide an avenue for healing as a Reiki Practitioner.
My Other Websites
What Parents Say
“Amy has lots of good information and perspectives that make you think about things differently. She encourages you to take the bits and pieces that work for you and make them your own. Before talking with Amy I felt guilty and disappointed. I felt comfort in the peace Amy brought to me with her words and calmness. Even if I didn’t do something the way I wish I would have, Amy has a way of still making it into a positive. I knew the next time I would handle the situation better and I didn’t feel like I was a bad mom anymore. I ended up feeling good about myself. “
Andrea, Mother of two
“I want you to know that our correspondence has had a positive impact. Since our first letters back and forth I have really made a conscious effort to rise in the morning, fully aware of my mood and outlook for the day. I have also made a conscious effort to greet each of my children every morning with the positive expectation that it is going to be a good day. That’s not to say my expectations are that the kids will get along all day, or that they will behave perfectly or make the right choices all the time. My expectation is that I will be willing to give as many chances as is necessary to let them figure out what choices they need to make, instead of projecting onto them some undefined limit on my patience. The other thing I’ve been trying to do is truly listen to each of my kids when they come to tell me something. I’ve been trying to go beyond their words and their tone of voice, and give them feedback that I do understand what they are trying to say and how they are feeling at that moment. Just having their feelings validated has resulted in more peaceful kids because they realize that someone is listening. Thanks for your input, Amy. You, and your wisdom, are valued!”
Kara, Mother of three
“Amy, it’s two days after our coaching session and I wanted to write and tell you how wonderful it was for me. After I hung up with you I felt clean - light - crisp - and brimming with energy and love. When my son woke up I playfully chased him around the room and we played like little puppies. This is not something I usually do but my son and I both loved it. It felt so good - like everything was clear between us. The issue that you and I talked about never even came up the entire day. That evening I reflected upon it and it felt miraculous - like he had been listening to us (he hadn’t) and he somehow decided to just make sure that we never had that ‘problem’ again. lol. I’m sure we will, but I already feel the shift inside of me that will make it less of a ‘problem’. So, I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really enjoyed talking to a real live person who understood what I was going through, who wanted to help me, and who could help me in a way I wanted to be helped!”
Lisa, Mother of 5 year old
“Amy, as one of the moms you “helped” I want to say thank you. I fondly
remember the night I came home from the hospital and here I have this
brand new baby, completely exhausted, scared out of my wits. Amanda
calling you at 11 at night because I was clueless. HOW DOES SOMEONE
WHO WENT TO LLL ALL HER LIFE BE CLUELESS?!… but I was… and you
helped. You were so calm and reassuring that I would be okay.
Reminding me to relax and walking me through the latch. My
breastfeeding relationship got off to a great start because of you.
Thank you Amy! I wish you and the kids only the best.
Keep on, keepin’ on.”
Sara, Mother of two